Shitty Movie Files #1: ‘Christmas Evil’

Shitty Movie Sunday is a weekly hangout consisting of an ever-changing cast of characters. The consistent is this–we track down shitty movies and drink to the absurd and ridiculous. Join Virtual Napkins each week as we recount the events of Shitty Movie Sunday. The names have been changed for some reason.

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A few days late, but here is this week’s Shitty Movie Sunday post.

Shitty Movie Sunday has been a tradition around here for several months, so there will be some catching up to do. Of course we’ve watched so-bad-it’s-good classics like The Room and Troll 2, and we will get around to recapping them eventually. We decided we needed a way to catalog these adventures since it’s summertime and summer is when we all split and go our separate ways for a while.

Also, Uncle Brunkle likes the dry-erase board drinking game element, and we needed a place to keep these memorialized as well.

So without further ado, this week’s Shitty Movie was 1980’s Christmas Evil. It’s also sometimes called You Better Watch Out (the preferred title of the Shitty Movie Sunday assemblage). It’s ALSO ALSO sometimes called Terror in Toyland. First, I think a good sign that you’re in the right neighborhood with a so-bad-it’s-good movie is when the studio itself couldn’t settle on a title–like how Troll 2 was called Goblins until they realized making it sound like a sequel (which is wasn’t) might make more money.

In short, Christmas Evil is a movie about this guy, Harry, who has some real parental/ Santa confusion going back to his childhood. Harry wakes up one night as a little kid and sees Santa going down on his mom while she is standing near a Christmas tree–maybe there was mistletoe? Now, young Harry watches this for a long time, but then again, Harry spends most of his life watching people. Fast-forward to when Harry is an adult, and he is watching the neighborhood kids take out the trash (they get their names in the book of “good” kids). He is also watching kids look at Hustlers and he even sees one kid get cold-clocked by his mom (new bonus drink: hilarious violence).

Anyway, Harry overhears some guys he works with down at the toy factory (really?) making fun of him at a bar called The Odd Couple Bar. He snaps, breaks some toys, super glues a beard to his face, laughs maniacally, puts a hatchet through some skulls down at the church, dances with children, gets stuck in a chimney (for way too long) and gets choked out by his in-much-better-shape-than-him brother–all in that order. Seriously. Read that order again. Anything stand out? How about MURDER followed by dancing with children? Cool.

Overall, Christmas Evil–or whatever the hell you want to call it–wasn’t awful. The concept is interesting enough even if the script is weak. They clearly wanted a Michael Meyers of Christmas situation, but they made their killer too sad to be scary. The violence is funny, though, and the ending is glorious, so stick with it.

Finally, here is YOUR Christmas Evil Shitty Movie Sunday-Sanctioned Drinking Game:

Drink for

  1. Christmas gags (to include songs, decorations, etc.) <-sorry about this
  2. Presents!
  3. Harry is made fun of
  4. Somebody dies
  5. Someone is spied on

BONUS (shot or finish your drink): Flying sleighs!

 

 

 

 

Next week we will see and discuss 1996’s Werewolf.

Here is the trailer for Christmas Evil (you can also easily stream the entire movie on YouTube):

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